Sober, calm days before christmas 2011 ;-)))

I Love You - Celine Dion
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=CR3hg452VGc

I am more and more surprised each day I am growing inside. I feel such a happiness (at the same time a little bit sad for all the things people are trying to say about me) But its ok, I can take it, I am strong. I am trying to not mind about it anymore. This time it is that I am materialistic, and I am spending money all through. Yes of course I do right NOWfolks, I got a bigger sum for once in my life for a damage I have in my back side, and of course with my small income I am not making my day normally. Now I take the chance because it will be short, be sure. I dont earn much, about 7500 sek netto, my rent is over 6000...no kids now at home, no allowances for them. I dont know do i survive ahead, but I smile anyway, someone taught me once...;-)

THIS TIRESOME HOSPITAL STORY CONTINUES....

Some badly wants me into hospital, and it is so sick to haunt a healthy person this way, i am ready to rock and roll! I am ready to smile and jump, I am ready for life. They are harassing me every single day in my house, because they probably badly want me into hospital for science but it is ok, I am used since 2009..... I dont like the hospital thing..., I dont need it and i am out of there a long time ago.

I am in love as before again in my "oldie" Mr P.A B, Jämtland (around 50 years), I am back :-) So dont make me quit it one more time. I am not out that often these days, i am mostly at home watching tv. But this christmas I will give myself a good drink (christmas eve). Last year in 2010 I was out a a lot because i had not been out for many many years, so we were partying me and my friend, but now I am mostly sober and home all the time. But i will go for ordinary dance i think ahead, because I love to dance.

Well, I am happy and satisfied because a change does not mean you are mentally ill, a change depends in something beside which has made you change your mind, so if i change, i am not sick :-) Also folks, I dont suffer any schitzofrenia, this is just a bad rumor, and because some others wants to travel abroad on jobs instead of me. They have started good with closing me out from My Fight With Fat site here. He cant take the truth, that the thinking idea is mine and not my daughter Linettes (17)....I OWN it. ALL knows it, so it is not in need that people are imitatiing all in my life to make people believe that Iam reacting because i am sick. When it is all about thousands of imitations, it is no "one time thing" All in my family knows i own it, I deserve to go. If i would be sick, there are hospitals abroad. =)

SCITZOFRENIC

To be schitzofrenic, then you can change in the middle (I have worked at the psyche myself) of a sentence, just starting talking about something with no relevance or something different, you CLEARLY hear when a person is schitzo. So please stop making people believe that i am not able to work and go abroad! ALL knows which couple should go, and also i got a promise in here last year for this.....with m y love above

I have done ALL possible things I can do, but some are liars and are sending wrong info to the once who decides these jobs. One example is that I dont do things i am offered....well, i have had practical problems in the form of two wonderful kids and a dog at home, now they are all out....I have also had other issues to handle an apartment of 89 square metres and a 46 year long saving of things to get rid of....Its not easy to rush.... I am awake all days, i am not sleeping all the time as stated from some....at least underlying.....and i am exercising every single day in the week, now lost 16 kg in ab. 3 months!

Soo, ALL understands that the hospital are having other purposes (maybe other suggestions in new partners i DONT want, hahaha) than that i am so sick. And folks, as I said....there ARE hospitals out in the world if in need!!!

Wooohooooooo! Even though i am "harassed" every single day in  my house I stand it, I am stronger than ever and i am ready to go with my love (or anyone else possible FRIEND)

COME ONE NOW, LET ME GET PEACE FOR INSTANCE, YOU ALL KNOW IT IS WRONG TO SEND OTHERS...

All my family thinks I am NOT in need of going to the hospital, and also the municipality agreed with me the other day when i talked about this for them.

Now hospital...., let me be, leave  me alone, stop haunting me in.

And last....that I would (if this are having any relevance....and that i can relate to this film from yesterday about a fat man marrying a tough hard woman, and he made a by pass to fit her and their coming children....smile....but this willnever happen to me....its n o t in the fat it is.....its him. I dont like him simply because he did never give me respect last year. I love P.A.B, and no one else. (Have been talking about Mr dance Original, he is tall dark and tiny, and ok...if this was an offer, we could go abroad as friends, and later see what is happening) But I prefer the one I love and was promised to go with. Dont forget that I am the owner of this material which is the ground for all this thinking idea.

I am ready to go out in the world, so love...lets go! ;-)) Or, I´ll probably go by myself. Hope u liked my christmas wish to you! :-)

Kisses to all...and You

Sivan